Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Who's that knocking at my door?

Dementia I knocking at my door. Loudly. I spent five minutes on Monday looking for my work badge. You know, the one with the key and fob to enter the building. The one that I had to wait three years to get. That one. I was in a slight panic while searching. My husband was very helpful. “you must have put it somewhere…” hmmm….thank you. Now, I am very routine oriented. I put my badge in my purse religiously. Every day. Without fail. Where the heck was it? And then I looked down….and found it. It was around my neck.

As a nurse, I know that Dementia is a progressive disease. It gets worse with time. I started to questions myself. Is it worse? Am I noticing memory changes? I do realize that this question has never made sense to me. If I was having memory changes…..would… I… remember… them? I started scanning back over my life. Then it hit me. This is nothing new. Ahhh, a sigh of relief. Seventeen years ago, I had a similar situation. I was at the beach with my then, three little boys. I could see Tommy and Chris playing in the sand. But where was Matt? He is the youngest…only two years old. How could he have gotten away so fast? Oh my Lord…what kind of a parent am I. Just because I have three, it’s not ok to lose one. My friend noticed my panic and started asking questions. “What’s wrong?” she asked calmly. “I can’t find Matt”, I respond, trying to keep the rising hysteria at bay. She begins to laugh, as she has so many times before. “He’s in your arms”. I look immediately to my left and there he is. Amazing. This is what happens when you are right handed. You forget you have a left arm. And apparently, whatever it is carrying. Don’t think I didn’t give him heck for not speaking up.

So, apparently, I’m ok. I am not progressing down the road to Dementia. I arrived almost 20 years ago. No problem. It’s been one heck of a journey. At some point, I’ll try to sit down and remember parts of it!

Love to you all…..


  1. Your husband's comment reminds me of a similar one from my hubby when I can't locate him in our house. Me: Where are you? Him: Here (like I have any idea where "here" is). Men!

    P.S. Look at you! Two posts this week already. You'll have no problems with three a week. Keep going!

  2. Gotta love them, don't you? Thanks for all of your input...keep it coming!