Ok...I'm down to 20 pounds within my goal weight. This would be the same 20 pounds that has plagued me for the past 30 days. I hear it's the hardest to loose. I can attest that this is true. Once you rid yourself of the lazy fat...that is, the fat that just sort of hangs on until you shake it off vigorously, the hard core fat remains. This is the fat that is supposed to save you in a famine. The fat that stores estrogen for an impending menopause. This fat is very..very...determined and may I add...definitely not attractive.
Now, this fat does at least behave itself while I'm fully clothed. It tucks itself away when constricted by jeans or any other form fitting garment. I think it knows I would resort to surgery if I had to deal with it in the daylight! But at night...or in the morning when I'm dressing, it taunts me relentlessly. I have lost close to 50 pounds and yes...I am happy with my body and no....I'm not becoming a closet anorexic. But hey, why do something half way? It's time to finish the job!
One little item that they don't tell you when you are loosing weight is that once skin and muscles have stretched out, they really don't just snap back like a rubber band. They sort of slowly amble back into the right size and hang out for a while to make sure your really going to keep the weight off this time! I get it...my body has moved between a size 7 and size 18 so many times that my skin is just trying to keep up! I sort of feel like a deflated balloon. Everything is smaller but it just...doesn't ...look...quite like it did prior to my getting big. While my arms have maintained some muscle definition (thank you push ups and planks!), my torso has taken on a mind of it's own. If only there was a little knob in the top of my head that I could just pull it all up with! Remember Edgar in MIB? Although, come to think of it, that didn't work out so well for him, did it?
I also have committed to two of my fellow nurses to run a half-marathon in February. Pray for me. If you have ever run with me, you know that I sound like a 79 year old with emphysema when I run. Random people run up to me with inhalers. It is better with the weight off, but my lung capacity is still lacking. I may die in February. I love you all...please say nice things at my memorial service!
So the battle still wages. And I don't ever want to take a chance on going back. I love being thinner. I like clothes shopping again. Even shoes are more fun now, albeit, I've made some very stupid shoe choices lately to avoid hemming my new smaller pants. This is yet another story to tell at another time. Most likely when I finally fall off those heels and break my ankle....and...hey...save my self from the half-marathon!
Love to you all!