Sunday, October 18, 2009

Eating Boredom

I haven't figured out what eating and boredom have in common. They are intimately related. Hmmm....nothing on TV (in spite of having 300+ channels), nothing grabbing me on the Internet, house is reasonably clean (could be debatable!).....must be time to eat. Eating out of boredom does become an activity into itself. When eating for body gives a chemical signal creating the feeling of hunger and we grab whatever is reasonably close. Boredom takes on a whole routine. a. Ascertain that there is nothing to do.... b. list options in mind that could be healthy alternative to eating (go for walk, read a novel, contemplate world peace).... c. come up with valid arguments as to why options are not plausible...d. casually eat everything in site. One way to counter boredom eating? Don't keep much food in the house. This unfortunately, however, does increase your SDG&E bill. Why you ask? Have you ever wanted to eat and had no food in the refrigerator? We have some weird but unshakable notion that we have just missed some delightful tidbit on the last six times that we opened the refrigerator door. I'm sure there is a cheesecake in there must be hiding behind the squeeze bottle of mustard or maybe under that outdated yogurt that I keep forgetting to throw out.

I have a friend that calls me "butter girl" for a similar episode. We were at a friends house and I was searching for some form of sweetener for my coffee. My friends kept their butter in what appeared in my simple mind to be a sugar bowl. I opened the "sugar bowl" not once, not twice but a total of five times while I searched for the sugar. As for the friend that was taking such pleasure in my insane searching, it is notable to explain that this was the first time we met. We are still friends....she uses me for comedy relief when she is struggling with life!

What is it in us that refuses to accept what we know to be true? Is it optimism? Or just plain old delusions that keep us opening and closing the refrigerator? Has the food fairy come? Has she come now? about now?....did she come now?....You have to laugh. We are amazingly complex yet simple all at the same time. Or maybe that is just me.

I am trying to counter some boredom with a new activity. I bought a jump rope. It's pretty cool - I am short so I can actually jump rope in the living room. Nothing has been broken....yet. No bones. Whenever I want to open the fridge, I grab the rope. I jump until I am out of breath...which is about 20 seconds currently. I read somewhere that one should exercise at least 20 minutes a day and that you can break it up anyway that works for you. I will have to reach for the refridgerator 60 times to make my 20 minutes. No sweat. I can do that in an hour typically. Don't laugh...have someone count how many times you do it.

Life is good. It would be better if I were a size six but it is good all the same. I am very blessed to have good friends, an understanding husband and some pretty cool kids. I'm surrounded by people that help me feel better about myself. As long as I avoid the full length mirrors, I can keep a pretty good mood going. Hope you enjoy a good evening....hmmmm...I wonder if the cheesecake is there yet? Where is that rope?

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Voice of Obesity

I may be getting hypersensitive. I'm not there such a thing as a fat sounding voice? I drive through Starbucks on a regular basis and order the same thing every day. I am a creature of habit. A Venti iced double shot with vanilla syrup. Notice in my order, there is no "sugar free" added. I don't want sugar free....I want full leaded. So, why on my last visit, did the Barista ask me "Do you want that sugar free?". I must be getting cranky. I wanted to respond, "did I ask for sugar free?" Dear Lord, he couldn't even see me. Do I...sound...fat? Heck...give me the sugar and forget the 2%. Go ahead and give me full cream.

What does a fat chick sound like?, this is coming off of an evening conversation with a guy that is like a brother to me. We were going to be volunteering the next day and he was asking if I already had an event T-shirt. Nope...don't have one. His response? "Bring a blue T-shirt then because all I have is Large and I mean, there kind of a small large". Ummmm....Ok. Go ahead, bud. Just say it. Listen lady, you're too fat to fit into the issued T-shirt. Get your own. I had to laugh and guess what? I did get a Large T-shirt the next day and it did fit. HAHAHA(evil laugh)!

I am a bit off the wagon, I must admit. I have to get refocused. These two little episodes did snap me back to reality. I do want to be moving in the right direction. I do enjoy the feeling of, while not exactly thinness, thinnerness. I feel better about my self. Now, I did have one interesting and unexpected comment this week. I was wearing a pair of slacks, a short sleeved shirt and a very modest Cami. Very modest. Forty five year old women should not try to show cleavage. It's not attractive. It's sort of....long. So, in commenting on my modest but apparently somewhat stylish attire, one of my staff stated, "your all hoochied out today." Hmmm....hoochied out was not quite the look I was going for. Professional...Attractive...even clean...would have been a better adjective for me. I must admit, however, I do appreciate the heart behind it and the staff member is an absolute sweetie. I will do a double take every morning from now on and put the spike heels away. (just kidding!)

We had a graduation ceremony Friday. I love graduation. Long black gowns are such a great equalizer. We ALL look fat. It's a great thing. And where else do you get the opportunity to quote Dr. Suess. At least all of the students laughed.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”

So true. I'm off and running now. I know what I know...just have to keep putting it into practice and not get cranky. Love to anyone listening. When you read this at times rambling monologue, you bring a bit of happiness to my day.