Thursday, May 26, 2011


I'm feeling the anxiety building.  Memorial Day is coming...what to most people is just a delightful three day weekend.  But to me...and to other fat suit wearers, it means something much more sinister.  Summer is here.  And for this's not just's summer in Yuma.  Eric and I have decided to visit my brother this Yuma.... a house that contains two adults, about six dogs and my archnemesis...the pool. 

San Diego has been very kind to me this year.  It was still raining up until a week ago.  I could still wear jeans on Saturday's and no one batted an eye.  I'm thinking that you can get away with long pants in San Diego up to about the 78 degree mark.  When you hit 80, layers shed like snakeskin.  Suddenly everyone is in short shorts and Cami tops....and....(shudder).....bathing suits.  I do own a bathing suit.  I bought it about three years has never been worn.  Mainly because I can't wear a pair of jeans under it...or Spanx.  

This weekend, however, it is slated to be 101 degrees in Yuma.  I will look like an imbecile in jeans....or sweats....or anything besides shorts.  It will be similar to the 15-mile training walk that I took preparing for the 3-day in which I forgot three very important items....water....a hat...and sunscreen.  I almost passed out at the end.   Yep.....I got nothing to counter that.  I was an idiot. fat suit is complicated with one other problem.  My legs have not seen the sun since 2006.  I believe that was about the time that I lost my knees.  I can feel my patella if I wade through the fatty tissue, but it is definitely not visible to the naked eye.  So...if I wear a swim suit, I will have to deal with explaining why my legs are fluorescent white....why my legs seemingly have joined together to make one big leg...and why I have no knees.  You can see why I'm having anxiety.  Thank God it's family. 

Now, I have been busy since the last time I wrote.  I have lost 15 pounds.  My pants are looser.  My waist in smaller.  My friend has told me on numerous occasions that my shirts don't spread tightly on my midsection anymore.  Side note....if you see me wearing something that makes me look fatter.....please comment.  I have a thick skin...I can take it.   I'd rather have you say something than find out by ending up on the "People in Walmart" website.   I am eating healthier....fruits, vegetables and lean meats.  Eric and I are somewhat followers of the 17-day Diet.  Not obsessive followers but more like....hmmmm...casual followers.  We are eating healthier but I did partake in a glass of wine tonight.  I had to....the pool is coming.

So.....15 pounds...and still no knees.  I estimate that I need to loose about 20 more pounds before they pop out again.  I do hear that tan skin makes you look thinner.  That may be I reach for the Jergens self tanner.  I may end up orange but at least I won't be sheet white.  I can't do anything about the uni-leg by Saturday.  Maybe I can invest in a nice wrap.  Do they make ones that cover you from sternum to ankle?  I do have ankles still.  I don't mind people seeing those...just nothing any higher!

OK....I'm going to just go with it.  It's family.  They love me in spite of my flaws.  Heck, at this point, I may just remind them of my mother.  I remember thinking that she was big when I was a know....when i was a size 9 in Saddle Back Ditto's.  Back when I had two thighs and knees.  Now?  I look in mirror and realize that I don't just resemble her....I became her!   Only her without all the talent!  Who cared if she was big?  She could play the guitar, piano, organ and believe it or not....the accordion.  She sewed, cooked and sang.  Amazing talent all wrapped up in her own fat suit.  As we grew to appreciate what an amazing woman she was, no one saw the fat suit....they only saw incredible talent. 
Maybe I could learn to juggle by Saturday. 

Say a prayer for me.....I may end up with PTSD....and my family could end up blind from the sun reflecting off my legs.   Maybe i can go vintage on the bathing suit....what do you think?

Love to you all!