Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Curse of the Crumbly Cupcakes

If you read my last post, you understand that I have several reasons to loose weight. Bad genetics and high blood pressure top the list. After yesterday, I have another. I battled with myself on whether I should write about this or not. It's a bit...embarrassing. Then I read my earlier posts and decided that if you had hit the TMI point, it would have been much earlier.

Yesterday was a weird day for me. I woke up stuffy and a bit unfocused. Ok, I realize "unfocused" is normal but the "stuffy" was making it worse. I went through the day cleaning and doing homework as usual. We also had our 15 year old doggie put to sleep. Very sad but he was unable to get up and down anymore. Tommy looked at me afterward with a look that said that I better never get arthritis.

Then came the family day at my sons' high school. The game was wonderful. We were playing a team ranked number 6 in the city and lost by one point. And, I might add, almost made that last shot. Afterward, we were putting food away and were helping ourselves to homemade cupcakes. Now, I know what your thinking. Why, after stating that I was serious about loosing weight, was I eating a cupcake? It's because you weren't there to tackle me to the ground. Take some responsibility here! Well.....You weren't there but God was! He saw. What happened next can only be described as his way of making himself known.

The cupcake was wonderful...light and airy...and crummy. I mean....with a lot of crumbs. A lot of crumbs that apparently got stuck in my trachea. I coughed and took a very slow breath in. It didn't clear. I coughed harder and realized that there was a very little space that air was actually moving. I handed the cupcake to Eric and moved outside....coughing and wheezing. Now, as a nurse, I will comment that the number one thing to not do if you are having problems breathing? Be polite and go outside! If you are going to pass out, inconvenience everyone and do it in front of them! They may step over you and continue to do their tasks but at least one person will think to call 911.

Now, I was able to clear a larger airway but the crumbs were still in there. They were very tenacious. Somehow, they all joined their little crumb hands and made a big crumb ball. I continued to cough for about five minutes (no exaggeration here!) harder and harder. Ok, women.....what happens when you cough? ....or laugh?....or do anything requiring your diaphragm to contract? happened. I started to pee. It was a vicious cycle. Cough....feel my bladder contract....stop coughing...stop breathing....cough.....feel my bladder contract....

As I was coughing, I removed my jacket to tie it around my waist. Now this was already uncomfortable since my jacket is on to cover my stomach. At that point, I decided that confirming to everyone that I was fat was better than giving them confirmation that I was incontinent.

Now my poor husband is watching this whole display and asking if he should step in. He is well aware that when I am sick or in pain, leave me alone. I'm not nice. He looked perplexed when I took off my jacket. What does that mean? The universal sign for choking is grabbing your throat with your hands. Did they change the sign? Is it now taking off your jacket? What is she doing?

I did explain when we were driving home. I also did notice him look over and most likely think...why are we in MY car? I did eventually clear my throat. Now this is the second time that I have choked in the past week. The first time was on a piece of carne asada. Too big a piece and not chewed well, I suppose. I realized that time that I couldn't get any air in. I tried clearing with the cough but then had to pull the meat out of my throat. How do I know that I have a eating disorder? I was really bummed, once I could breathe, that the last piece of meat was now in the trash. It's a sickness, I tell you! Now, that time I was at home. I could have peed my pants and no one would have known. Life is cruel. new reason for loosing weight? If I'm going to choke again, I definitely do not want to repeat this outcome. Loosing weight helps with joint problems, cardiovascular issues and overall self esteem problems. It's time. No more cupcakes. God is watching. And his wrath is one I would like to avoid in the future. Especially at my sons basketball games. Being a teenager is hard enough - add the fact that your mother peed her pants and it could just make it unbearable.

Love to you all!

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