I think I'm going to try something different. I'm at the point where I need to either find $5000.00 for a lap-band, get my jaw re-wired or start drinking Epicac chasers. I actually went to a informational meeting once about weight loss surgery. First, I must say, if you ever want to feel thinner, attend one of these meetings. I looked like a size 6! That unfortunately, however, was a problem. I was told afterwards..."you're just not fat enough or unhealthy enough for this surgery..." Really? Heck, give me a year and a goal and I bet I can reach it. How fat and unhealthy do I need to be?
I know that Weight Watchers works but for some reason, I want to eat everything in sight lately. I have been working out at least three days a week between walking and the gym but am seeing no results because of my ravenous appetite. Please don't leave any small children around me...especially if they have have any candy drippings on them. I did have some medication changes lately, so that could be part of the problem. The changes have been positive for the most part, but I didn't expect a ten pound weight gain as a side effect. Ahhhh....I'm on my way to "fat enough"! I also know that kicking my coffee habit is making for some daily issues at around 2:30pm. If I can't use caffeine...then I'll use sugar. Something has got to keep me going in the afternoon. I'm open to suggestions....! It just has to be non-harmful and hopefully, legal.
One of my students has been to a hypnotist for weight loss. She has lost 80 pounds. I went in for a consultation. It actually looked somewhat promising. Holistic - no medications involved. I do have a slight trust issue, here, however. What if she puts in some weird code word that makes me strip down and prance like a pony in the hallway? I guess if I loose weight it would be worth the risk but I like where I work and would hate to have to find employment elsewhere when the students starting screaming and running out the doors! Maybe I'll find a good friend to do it with me.....Loree? Not that you have weight to loose but at least one of us could keep an eye open during the process.
I had a patient once that tried Liposuction on herself....with a Kirby. I'm not kidding. Cut a hole in her abdomen and put the hose in. In case your considering it, I will say....it was pretty ugly. I still can't figure our how she thought she would achieve overall weight loss with this method....What she did loose was some skin...health....her dignity.....! People are desperate to loose weight. Willing to do anything...anything....except...eat less. We all know what to do...don't we? It just never seems to be as easy as it sounds.
So, as I consider my options, say a prayer for me. I met a woman last night that did the Iron Man at age 53. One of my best friends ran a marathon a few weeks ago...her 50th birthday party was last night. I am looking at having one foot in the grave at 50 and the other foot in an Alzhimers unit. I'm not sure which foot will win out!! I'll let you know if the Hypnotist pans out. If you discover my code word, be kind...!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Fathers Day!
It is Sunday Night....the weekend is winding down. The bills are paid, the laundry...done...mostly...and the dishes are drying. I have been on my hands and knees scrubbing our white tile floor (curses, you previous owners!) and my homework is done. I spent individual time with two of my boys this weekend and all five of us had time together for Fathers Day today. The weekend has been great...but...alas...Monday is coming. It comes like a freight train speeding in from the horizon and I am powerless to stop it. Oh, if we could only stop time for just a little while on Sunday evenings....but I know if I had the power, I would never hit go again!
I spent some time looking at old pictures this weekend. Time has passed so quickly. Eighteen years ago, I was a pregnant single mother with two young boys in tow. Odd details plague me...such as...why did I favor that blue and black Where's Waldo sweater while I was nine months pregnant? I looked like a huge bumble bee with a bruise. Why did I buy a black Nissan Sentra with no air conditioning? Neither of these questions really matter, obviously, but it's interesting to look back at who were were...and how it relates to who we are now. Now I know not to wear stripes...especially since I weigh now about what I did then...while I was nine months pregnant....It's hard to blame the baby fat on your baby when he's about to graduate from high school....but I'll keep trying. Now I know that cars must have air conditioning if you are going to live in El Cajon. It's too bad I didn't learn that before we bought our house.
The boys and I were together alone for ten years. For the first couple of years, we didn't have a car. I remember the day that the black Nissan Sentra with no air conditioning was repossessed. It was obvious that I couldn't make the payments. When they called to tell me that they were taking it back, I told them to come get it. The poor man that came to pick it up couldn't look me in the eye. I walked him out to show him the car followed by two boys under the age of four and a newborn in my arms. I think he drove the car in and then hit a bar on the way home. He seemed much more traumatized than we were.
Fast forward ten years. Eric and I met while I was on a date with someone else...it was one of those dates that you think will never end. We ended up in a little coffee shop in Lakeside that played live music. It was very...very...hot inside! Lots of people and very little air. When we walked outside, we met Eric trying to get some air also. We invited him to church and two years later we were married. He had no idea what he was getting into - poor man. I think he spent the first year of our marriage in a haze wondering what he was paying penance for. One night, I think he truly thought he had entered some weird Alice inWonderland alternate universe. Matthew was sick and was prone to febrile hallucinations. The boys and I were used to it. As his fever went up, I could here his anxiety increasing. I sat with him telling him that I was there while I tried to get his fever down. He started saying...
"There's someone else here..."
"Honey, it's me...I'm right here..."
There's someone behind you..."
"Who do you see, honey....it's just me...."
Dramatic scream and then....."It's...the...Devil!"
At this point, I saw Eric drop to his knees and realize that it wasn't just Alice in Wonderland but he had somehow entered the Sixth Sense. Matt's typical hallucination was seeing children playing ring-around-the-Rosie around him. This one was much more intense than normal. Remarkably, Eric is still with us ten years later!
Tuesday is Matt's graduation from high school. Eighteen years could not possibly have passed. We will be joined at his graduation by Eric, David (his 1st Dad) and Rudy (his grandfather). My boys have been blessed to have many men in their lives to look up to. Some people worry that boys will be sissy's if raised by single mothers. Dont' believe a word of it. My boys are exactly that....all boy. I know that from the time that Tommy flooded the school bathroom from putting rocks in the toilets...to Matt trying to skateboard off the roof and chipping his front teeth...from Christopher doing backflips off the neighbors wall. From finding a rattlesnake in my freezer after the boys went hiking and living with three pet rats...to discovering that any new posters probably meant that there was a hole in the wall. It was all part of raising boys and while I was called a single mom....I really wasn't one. I may have been single but I was anything but doing this job alone. We were surrounded by male college students from our church who spent time with the kids. I had friends husbands that would take them out along with their own kids. I can only say that we have been truly blessed....and I am grateful for all of the men, fathers or not, who had a hand in helping my boys become the men that they are.
As I look back over our lives, I have so much to be grateful for. If you had any hand in helping my kids grow...if you have ever told them "I love you"...if you have spent time with them in any way....then thank you. They are really good men. I love them....but even more than that....I like who they are becoming. To my boys, I say "I am proud of you". To my friends and family, I say, "I couldn't have done it without you!" To my husband, I say, "Your time is coming...we're almost there! Thank you for the last ten years and all you have done for our family".
Love to you all!
The boys and I were together alone for ten years. For the first couple of years, we didn't have a car. I remember the day that the black Nissan Sentra with no air conditioning was repossessed. It was obvious that I couldn't make the payments. When they called to tell me that they were taking it back, I told them to come get it. The poor man that came to pick it up couldn't look me in the eye. I walked him out to show him the car followed by two boys under the age of four and a newborn in my arms. I think he drove the car in and then hit a bar on the way home. He seemed much more traumatized than we were.
Fast forward ten years. Eric and I met while I was on a date with someone else...it was one of those dates that you think will never end. We ended up in a little coffee shop in Lakeside that played live music. It was very...very...hot inside! Lots of people and very little air. When we walked outside, we met Eric trying to get some air also. We invited him to church and two years later we were married. He had no idea what he was getting into - poor man. I think he spent the first year of our marriage in a haze wondering what he was paying penance for. One night, I think he truly thought he had entered some weird Alice inWonderland alternate universe. Matthew was sick and was prone to febrile hallucinations. The boys and I were used to it. As his fever went up, I could here his anxiety increasing. I sat with him telling him that I was there while I tried to get his fever down. He started saying...
"There's someone else here..."
"Honey, it's me...I'm right here..."
There's someone behind you..."
"Who do you see, honey....it's just me...."
Dramatic scream and then....."It's...the...Devil!"
At this point, I saw Eric drop to his knees and realize that it wasn't just Alice in Wonderland but he had somehow entered the Sixth Sense. Matt's typical hallucination was seeing children playing ring-around-the-Rosie around him. This one was much more intense than normal. Remarkably, Eric is still with us ten years later!
Tuesday is Matt's graduation from high school. Eighteen years could not possibly have passed. We will be joined at his graduation by Eric, David (his 1st Dad) and Rudy (his grandfather). My boys have been blessed to have many men in their lives to look up to. Some people worry that boys will be sissy's if raised by single mothers. Dont' believe a word of it. My boys are exactly that....all boy. I know that from the time that Tommy flooded the school bathroom from putting rocks in the toilets...to Matt trying to skateboard off the roof and chipping his front teeth...from Christopher doing backflips off the neighbors wall. From finding a rattlesnake in my freezer after the boys went hiking and living with three pet rats...to discovering that any new posters probably meant that there was a hole in the wall. It was all part of raising boys and while I was called a single mom....I really wasn't one. I may have been single but I was anything but doing this job alone. We were surrounded by male college students from our church who spent time with the kids. I had friends husbands that would take them out along with their own kids. I can only say that we have been truly blessed....and I am grateful for all of the men, fathers or not, who had a hand in helping my boys become the men that they are.
As I look back over our lives, I have so much to be grateful for. If you had any hand in helping my kids grow...if you have ever told them "I love you"...if you have spent time with them in any way....then thank you. They are really good men. I love them....but even more than that....I like who they are becoming. To my boys, I say "I am proud of you". To my friends and family, I say, "I couldn't have done it without you!" To my husband, I say, "Your time is coming...we're almost there! Thank you for the last ten years and all you have done for our family".
Love to you all!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Memories of the Pumpkinhead
What the heck is going on with me? I want to eat everything in sight! I think my body has a comfort zone that it likes to stay in....that zone would be....fat. I start working out and my eating increases. I just bought 2 large bunches of celery. I figured if I must snack on something, at least celery has negative calories. (You know the theory....it takes more calories to chew it than it actually contains!). I'm thinking about having my jaw redone just so I can have it banded shut again!
If you didn't know me then, here is a brief synopsis. I had my overbite corrected about three years ago. My overbite was pretty substantial - I had no chin. It sort of blended into my neck. I was also missing several permanent teeth so as my baby teeth came out, my remaining set become very crooked. One of my teeth in the bottom front is a baby tooth and a bit pointy - it came in when I was four days old. My mother was thrilled. So.....in my early 40's, I opted to get braces. Not the cool Invisiline....not even the clear brackets...nope...I had full on metal braces on my teeth.....for about three years. Followed by jaw surgery...and more braces. I will recap my learning experience for you...
1. All Orthodontists lie - when they say that your problem will be corrected in 18 months, don't believe them.
2. The face is very vascular and jaw surgery causes you to look like Charlie Brown for about a week.
3. Ensure looses all palatability on day three.
I saved my emails from that time period and decided to post them for nostalgia's sake. I hope you enjoy....
Subject: Living with a pumpkin head
Good morning all! It's Sunday morning at 4:30 am and although my verbal skills have left me, my insomnia has not. Thought I would give everyone an update as to my post surgical status. Over the past three days, I have had much time to deliberate "what the heck have I done!" I keep telling myself that this will all make sense in a few weeks but right now, I am questioning every judgment that I have ever made. For those of you that have seen me, you know why! My face has taken on the shape of Charlie Brown. Yes, its true, I have become a cartoon character. The pain has not been bad so that is one positive. My focus, however, is another story. I can't seem to sleep all night so I exist on short naps over a 24 hour period. If I feel asleep in the middle of our conversations, I apologize!
I had a victory last night when I relearned how to drink from a cup. Small thing though it might seem, my lips have taken on the appearance of someone who got about five doses too much of collagen and they have no sensation. My teeth are banded shut and my cheeks and neck are swollen. If you can paint that picture, suddenly drinking from a cup is up there with winning the Nobel peace prize. My diet has been very limited so I am sure that I am loosing weight. Why my tummy bulge is still here, I don't know. I was expecting to be a size eight after five days. Life just isn't fair.
I miss you all and will be on yahoo more often now so please write to me. Written communication is my only form now so I do cherish it. I use a white board at home. You can still yell if you use all caps. My husband has been absolutely wonderful and the boys have been about as helpful as I had expected. They will do anything I ask as long as I can get the white board in front of them before they avert their eyes. I also am using sign language. When Tommy turned the heater way up last night, a few loud grunts and pointing to the thermostat seemed to do the trick.
Thanks so much for those of you that brought food. The kids and Eric have enjoyed it. I know that it took one thing off of Eric's plate that has made this easier for both of us.
Thanks to all of you for your prayers! I look forward to writing to you again soon. My bands come off next Friday so hopefully then I'll be able to attempt some talking. Have a good remainder of the weekend!
Pumpkinhead
Subject: Part Two - Now I'm just a Squash
Hi Everyone! Thought I would update you to how things are going this week. I am no longer a Pumpkin Head. Now I'm just a squash. You remember the cute baby on the Gerber bottles? The one with the chubby little cheeks - so cute? It's not so cute when you're 43. No amount of hair styling can take away those cheeks. I haven’t tried makeup because eventually I would get to my mouth and I don't have that much lipstick available! I did realize yesterday that when you stop plucking your eyebrows for a week, you actually grow a second set. My eyes are warm.
I have achieved several milestones this week.
I am able to get up and perform some household duties. Dishes are fine, laundry is fine...vacuuming and mopping wears me out. Hmmm - that’s right - hated those before the surgery! That’s OK - that’s what boys are for!
I wore jeans instead of sweats for the first time yesterday. They were looser! Well - I couldn't actually tell if they were clean or if I had worn them prior and my helpful husband had just folded them. But, heck, for the moment, life was sweet!
I completed my Professional Development Plan for my class. It was a little depressing. The class is very big on being active in nursing community. Had a whole section of "Political affiliations - None" "Community Service - none" "Committee meetings - none". Let’s see how that one gets graded!
I get my bands off on Friday. Thank you Lord because the inside of my mouth is starting to feel like something off the set of the Titanic - the part where it's finally found in the ocean after years of growing barnacles. Warm salt water only does so much.
OK - back to doing my favorite activity this week - Napping. Kids really don't appreciate what they have. I think we should all get to do it every day!
Love you all!
Sheri
Subject: Part Three: Ensure Forever
Well - it's Friday....I had my doctors appointment today. You know, the one that would end in my bands coming off. Welllllllll - It's Friday. The bands are still on. I didn't see my doctor. I saw another doctor. Another doctor that believes that the splint and bands need to stay on for two weeks. I'm sure he's a very good doctor. I hate him. Well - dislike him very strongly. The only thing I did hear from him today? You need to keep your mouth cleaner. I frantically wrote...what would you like me to add to my daily agenda of warm salt water swishes, mouth wash and band brushing? He said...I know it’s hard. Well - that helps. This is why I like nurses. At least they would have said "Try this...or this..."
Oh well - I'm going to buy a scale tomorrow. If I haven't lost any weight, you may want to stay away from me for a while. I feel like I'm going to be on Ensure forever - it had better result in smaller hips.
The swelling has gone way down. I am now able to go out in public. Loree was my awesome chauffeur today. After the doctors, we went to Albertsons. All went well even when we got up to the checkout. The clerk was chatty. Good for her. She has a movable jaw. Loree saved the day by saying "she had surgery". The clerk made some comment about "yeah, I saw her smiling..." What does that mean? "She was smiling like a senseless deaf mute?" Or was it simply "i noticed that her front teeth are covered with elastic?"....I'm getting grumpy.
I’m getting hormonal. Not a good combination with jaw wiring. Fortunately, Ensure comes in chocolate. I've had two this evening. Don't worry...that takes my calorie consumption for the day up to 750 calories. I'm still good. I think I'll get a box of See's tomorrow and melt them over the stove.
I'm no longer on pain medication. I'm pretty much pain free other than some minor annoyances here and there. After the surgery, I read that my bottom lip and chin could be numb for up to 12 months. Didn't catch that one before they severed my nerve endings.... It's really not that big of a deal actually. When I need to drink, it's very easy to move my bottom lip under the rim of the cup...most of the time. Other times that needs to be done manually. You know...with my hand. On a positive note, my lips feel like they could rival Angelina Jolie's. All this without collagen. My chin is perpetually cold unless it’s really warm in the house. Which is really helpful if you think about it. I have a barometer on my face. Who else can say that?
Overall I am still happy that I did the surgery. I think the end effect will be good. Hopefully I will end up with a nice profile and a smaller waist. And I am enjoying being home. Next week, though, my excuses for not cleaning the house may be gone. Wait...I'm feeling woozy again....
I love you all and thanks so much for your support during this experience! I feel like you all have been going though it with me...well except the whole thing of you not actually be silly enough to get your jaw broken. But no one told me I was nuts. Even if you thought it...you didn't say it. Thank you for that.
You are all good friends....
I'm off to Tommy's Volley Ball game. Have a good night and I will "talk" to you all again soon!
Sheri
Subject: Part Four: Adventures in Eating
Hello ladies! My sixteen days of oral prison are over! I am not bandless and splintless but....I am able to open my mouth about an inch! My really, really, really tight bands were replaced with looser bands that enable some jaw movement...not much but.....ENOUGH TO TALK!!! Yes, it's true - I am verbal once again. Hallelujah! Well, verbal with a very pronounced lisp but verbal just the same. Life is sweet!
I went to eat right after being released from my rubber band cage. My father and I went to Denny's. I ordered the only thing on the menu that looked like I could eat it without chewing - eggs and grits. Yes, I am a country girl at heart. Eating is an interesting experience when you can open you mouth only an inch and have no sensation in your bottom lip. Interesting is another word for messy. It took me twenty minutes to successfully get about four bites of eggs and a small bowel of grits consumed. Where did the rest of the eggs go? Well - I'm glad they had a vacuum. My breakfast came with bacon also. My dad asked me "aren't you going to eat that?" I contemplated how to eat bacon without chewing and decided that sucking on it would be a bit inappropriate in the restaurant. I just pushed the plate over to him. He told me "good honey, I don't want you to overeat." Not much chance of that Dad - for me to overeat, we would have to be committed to at least another six hours here.
I had a few revelations while I was banded that I thought I would share. A major thing is that you never know how much you need a tongue until you don't have access to one. Some situations that arose....
1..You are going to the store and offer to pick up some tea for a dear friend. You realize that not only your lips are very dry but the inside of your cheeks as well. What do you do....? Well, what you would do is lick you lips. What I do? Hijack the tea and beg for forgiveness later.
2. You go to do an ATM deposit. You sign the back of your checks. You fill out the deposit slip. You add with your typical mathematical genius. You complete the deposit envelope, put everything inside and then read the five words that strike terror in your heart "please seal envelope before depositing". You look frantically inside your bag to see if the kitchen sponge fell in there by accident. You look in the car to see if they hijacked tea is still there. And then...you quietly look around, and rub your finger inside your cheek several times and wipe it on the envelope. Disgusting? And what... you think actually "licking" the envelope is sanitary?
I am still banded so I still do not have full access to my tongue. It's more like I have visiting rights. I have four bands and a splint that keep my jaw in place. I will be learning exercises tomorrow to begin to loosen the muscles and enable me to open further. I can't tell how my family feels about this. My guess is that they enjoyed the silence.
I am back at work for six hours a day this week. Everyone has been very supportive. They keep telling me not to talk. I don't think that has anything to do with my recovery. I think they enjoy the silence also.
It's been quite a ride. I have lost sixteen pounds and one pants size so far. I am hoping to continue with this trend. I have been able to cook dinner and no longer will 'taste' as I go. Since I can't put it on my tongue, I would have to wipe it on my cheek. Its already covered in envelope glue. I don't like mixing tastes.
So.....have a good night. It's been great to get responses back from everyone. Thanks for all the support! Love ya dearly!
Sheri
If you didn't know me then, here is a brief synopsis. I had my overbite corrected about three years ago. My overbite was pretty substantial - I had no chin. It sort of blended into my neck. I was also missing several permanent teeth so as my baby teeth came out, my remaining set become very crooked. One of my teeth in the bottom front is a baby tooth and a bit pointy - it came in when I was four days old. My mother was thrilled. So.....in my early 40's, I opted to get braces. Not the cool Invisiline....not even the clear brackets...nope...I had full on metal braces on my teeth.....for about three years. Followed by jaw surgery...and more braces. I will recap my learning experience for you...
1. All Orthodontists lie - when they say that your problem will be corrected in 18 months, don't believe them.
2. The face is very vascular and jaw surgery causes you to look like Charlie Brown for about a week.
3. Ensure looses all palatability on day three.
I saved my emails from that time period and decided to post them for nostalgia's sake. I hope you enjoy....
Subject: Living with a pumpkin head
Good morning all! It's Sunday morning at 4:30 am and although my verbal skills have left me, my insomnia has not. Thought I would give everyone an update as to my post surgical status. Over the past three days, I have had much time to deliberate "what the heck have I done!" I keep telling myself that this will all make sense in a few weeks but right now, I am questioning every judgment that I have ever made. For those of you that have seen me, you know why! My face has taken on the shape of Charlie Brown. Yes, its true, I have become a cartoon character. The pain has not been bad so that is one positive. My focus, however, is another story. I can't seem to sleep all night so I exist on short naps over a 24 hour period. If I feel asleep in the middle of our conversations, I apologize!
I had a victory last night when I relearned how to drink from a cup. Small thing though it might seem, my lips have taken on the appearance of someone who got about five doses too much of collagen and they have no sensation. My teeth are banded shut and my cheeks and neck are swollen. If you can paint that picture, suddenly drinking from a cup is up there with winning the Nobel peace prize. My diet has been very limited so I am sure that I am loosing weight. Why my tummy bulge is still here, I don't know. I was expecting to be a size eight after five days. Life just isn't fair.
I miss you all and will be on yahoo more often now so please write to me. Written communication is my only form now so I do cherish it. I use a white board at home. You can still yell if you use all caps. My husband has been absolutely wonderful and the boys have been about as helpful as I had expected. They will do anything I ask as long as I can get the white board in front of them before they avert their eyes. I also am using sign language. When Tommy turned the heater way up last night, a few loud grunts and pointing to the thermostat seemed to do the trick.
Thanks so much for those of you that brought food. The kids and Eric have enjoyed it. I know that it took one thing off of Eric's plate that has made this easier for both of us.
Thanks to all of you for your prayers! I look forward to writing to you again soon. My bands come off next Friday so hopefully then I'll be able to attempt some talking. Have a good remainder of the weekend!
Pumpkinhead
Subject: Part Two - Now I'm just a Squash
Hi Everyone! Thought I would update you to how things are going this week. I am no longer a Pumpkin Head. Now I'm just a squash. You remember the cute baby on the Gerber bottles? The one with the chubby little cheeks - so cute? It's not so cute when you're 43. No amount of hair styling can take away those cheeks. I haven’t tried makeup because eventually I would get to my mouth and I don't have that much lipstick available! I did realize yesterday that when you stop plucking your eyebrows for a week, you actually grow a second set. My eyes are warm.
I have achieved several milestones this week.
I am able to get up and perform some household duties. Dishes are fine, laundry is fine...vacuuming and mopping wears me out. Hmmm - that’s right - hated those before the surgery! That’s OK - that’s what boys are for!
I wore jeans instead of sweats for the first time yesterday. They were looser! Well - I couldn't actually tell if they were clean or if I had worn them prior and my helpful husband had just folded them. But, heck, for the moment, life was sweet!
I completed my Professional Development Plan for my class. It was a little depressing. The class is very big on being active in nursing community. Had a whole section of "Political affiliations - None" "Community Service - none" "Committee meetings - none". Let’s see how that one gets graded!
I get my bands off on Friday. Thank you Lord because the inside of my mouth is starting to feel like something off the set of the Titanic - the part where it's finally found in the ocean after years of growing barnacles. Warm salt water only does so much.
OK - back to doing my favorite activity this week - Napping. Kids really don't appreciate what they have. I think we should all get to do it every day!
Love you all!
Sheri
Subject: Part Three: Ensure Forever
Well - it's Friday....I had my doctors appointment today. You know, the one that would end in my bands coming off. Welllllllll - It's Friday. The bands are still on. I didn't see my doctor. I saw another doctor. Another doctor that believes that the splint and bands need to stay on for two weeks. I'm sure he's a very good doctor. I hate him. Well - dislike him very strongly. The only thing I did hear from him today? You need to keep your mouth cleaner. I frantically wrote...what would you like me to add to my daily agenda of warm salt water swishes, mouth wash and band brushing? He said...I know it’s hard. Well - that helps. This is why I like nurses. At least they would have said "Try this...or this..."
Oh well - I'm going to buy a scale tomorrow. If I haven't lost any weight, you may want to stay away from me for a while. I feel like I'm going to be on Ensure forever - it had better result in smaller hips.
The swelling has gone way down. I am now able to go out in public. Loree was my awesome chauffeur today. After the doctors, we went to Albertsons. All went well even when we got up to the checkout. The clerk was chatty. Good for her. She has a movable jaw. Loree saved the day by saying "she had surgery". The clerk made some comment about "yeah, I saw her smiling..." What does that mean? "She was smiling like a senseless deaf mute?" Or was it simply "i noticed that her front teeth are covered with elastic?"....I'm getting grumpy.
I’m getting hormonal. Not a good combination with jaw wiring. Fortunately, Ensure comes in chocolate. I've had two this evening. Don't worry...that takes my calorie consumption for the day up to 750 calories. I'm still good. I think I'll get a box of See's tomorrow and melt them over the stove.
I'm no longer on pain medication. I'm pretty much pain free other than some minor annoyances here and there. After the surgery, I read that my bottom lip and chin could be numb for up to 12 months. Didn't catch that one before they severed my nerve endings.... It's really not that big of a deal actually. When I need to drink, it's very easy to move my bottom lip under the rim of the cup...most of the time. Other times that needs to be done manually. You know...with my hand. On a positive note, my lips feel like they could rival Angelina Jolie's. All this without collagen. My chin is perpetually cold unless it’s really warm in the house. Which is really helpful if you think about it. I have a barometer on my face. Who else can say that?
Overall I am still happy that I did the surgery. I think the end effect will be good. Hopefully I will end up with a nice profile and a smaller waist. And I am enjoying being home. Next week, though, my excuses for not cleaning the house may be gone. Wait...I'm feeling woozy again....
I love you all and thanks so much for your support during this experience! I feel like you all have been going though it with me...well except the whole thing of you not actually be silly enough to get your jaw broken. But no one told me I was nuts. Even if you thought it...you didn't say it. Thank you for that.
You are all good friends....
I'm off to Tommy's Volley Ball game. Have a good night and I will "talk" to you all again soon!
Sheri
Subject: Part Four: Adventures in Eating
Hello ladies! My sixteen days of oral prison are over! I am not bandless and splintless but....I am able to open my mouth about an inch! My really, really, really tight bands were replaced with looser bands that enable some jaw movement...not much but.....ENOUGH TO TALK!!! Yes, it's true - I am verbal once again. Hallelujah! Well, verbal with a very pronounced lisp but verbal just the same. Life is sweet!
I went to eat right after being released from my rubber band cage. My father and I went to Denny's. I ordered the only thing on the menu that looked like I could eat it without chewing - eggs and grits. Yes, I am a country girl at heart. Eating is an interesting experience when you can open you mouth only an inch and have no sensation in your bottom lip. Interesting is another word for messy. It took me twenty minutes to successfully get about four bites of eggs and a small bowel of grits consumed. Where did the rest of the eggs go? Well - I'm glad they had a vacuum. My breakfast came with bacon also. My dad asked me "aren't you going to eat that?" I contemplated how to eat bacon without chewing and decided that sucking on it would be a bit inappropriate in the restaurant. I just pushed the plate over to him. He told me "good honey, I don't want you to overeat." Not much chance of that Dad - for me to overeat, we would have to be committed to at least another six hours here.
I had a few revelations while I was banded that I thought I would share. A major thing is that you never know how much you need a tongue until you don't have access to one. Some situations that arose....
1..You are going to the store and offer to pick up some tea for a dear friend. You realize that not only your lips are very dry but the inside of your cheeks as well. What do you do....? Well, what you would do is lick you lips. What I do? Hijack the tea and beg for forgiveness later.
2. You go to do an ATM deposit. You sign the back of your checks. You fill out the deposit slip. You add with your typical mathematical genius. You complete the deposit envelope, put everything inside and then read the five words that strike terror in your heart "please seal envelope before depositing". You look frantically inside your bag to see if the kitchen sponge fell in there by accident. You look in the car to see if they hijacked tea is still there. And then...you quietly look around, and rub your finger inside your cheek several times and wipe it on the envelope. Disgusting? And what... you think actually "licking" the envelope is sanitary?
I am still banded so I still do not have full access to my tongue. It's more like I have visiting rights. I have four bands and a splint that keep my jaw in place. I will be learning exercises tomorrow to begin to loosen the muscles and enable me to open further. I can't tell how my family feels about this. My guess is that they enjoyed the silence.
I am back at work for six hours a day this week. Everyone has been very supportive. They keep telling me not to talk. I don't think that has anything to do with my recovery. I think they enjoy the silence also.
It's been quite a ride. I have lost sixteen pounds and one pants size so far. I am hoping to continue with this trend. I have been able to cook dinner and no longer will 'taste' as I go. Since I can't put it on my tongue, I would have to wipe it on my cheek. Its already covered in envelope glue. I don't like mixing tastes.
So.....have a good night. It's been great to get responses back from everyone. Thanks for all the support! Love ya dearly!
Sheri
Friday, June 4, 2010
Back From the Time Warp
Where in the heck did the past three weeks go? I swear I've been in a time warp. I took on teaching 20 hours a week for the past two weeks and I am embarrassed to tell you how much time it was taking me to prep. I was teaching a Rehab Aid class....let me remind you that I am a nurse and not a Physical Therapist. This would help explain why I was up at 2am every morning studying the bones, ligaments, tendons and joints of the upper and lower extremities. I can now tell you the four muscles in the Rotator Cuff and which joint allows you to pronate your ankle. Now, I knew this all before....when I took Anatomy and Physiology...in 1992. You know...back when my brain was an eager sponge instead of a block of swiss cheese. I have since blocked it out. I must say, however, that I truly enjoyed the class. They were engaged, interested and didn't make too much fun of me when I answered questions with...."that will be a great question for Mr. Manning when he gets back..." I do really enjoy being in the classroom. The bonding is very different from just seeing the students for a few minutes here and there.
This class was a bit of bad timing as I also had my final paper due for my MSN class. You know...the one that was 10 pages with 8 articles referenced. I did get it done...about 12 hours before it was due. That may have been a record for me. I ended up with 300/300 points. I'm not sure if she even read it but decided to just take the A and not question. There are times to stand up for the work that you've done and times to just shut up and count your blessings.
I also began exercising again....in full force. I have teamed up with another Director at work and we meet at the YMCA at 5:30am. I have not quite made it five days a week but am well on my way. Wednesday, we hit up the elliptical for 55 minutes. Today it was 35 minutes of elliptical and 25 minutes of weights and stretching. My biggest adjustment has been getting comfortable with getting dressed for work at the gym. I am used to coming home and showering. I bought a really, really big beach towel. It pretty much covers me from neck to my ankles. There is much comfort in terry-cloth. I also am seeing that I will save money in makeup. I no longer need blush. I am bright red when I finish. My face looks like I went crazy with bronzer on my forehead, cheeks and neck. I had some concern about my carotid arteries a while ago....no worries now. They are working fine.
Now the big question...have I lost weight? Maybe about two pounds (depending on how I lean on the scale!). That's OK - its a slow process. I have stopped attacking my candy jar again. That in itself will make a huge difference. I can't stop buying the chocolate - I actually see it as a business expense. Conversations are much more pleasant when people are eating a Kit-Kat. Try it...you'll see.
My kick off training for the Breast Cancer walk is next week. Then I have to get really serious about that training as well. I usually walk on the weekends now. I walked four miles at Harbor Island last Sunday. Beautiful walk with a good friend and well worth the drive. This weekend will most likely be back at Lake Murray. Cheer me on, please. I think this walk will be much easier if I drop 50 pounds first. It will be like putting down a Costco sized bag of Sugar before I start....! So...words of encouragement are appreciated...I will write them on sticky notes and put them on my computer to remind me of those cheering me on! They will most likely get mixed up in the 50 other sticky notes on my desk but will be a welcome surprise when I'm looking for someones phone number.
Love to you all!!!!
This class was a bit of bad timing as I also had my final paper due for my MSN class. You know...the one that was 10 pages with 8 articles referenced. I did get it done...about 12 hours before it was due. That may have been a record for me. I ended up with 300/300 points. I'm not sure if she even read it but decided to just take the A and not question. There are times to stand up for the work that you've done and times to just shut up and count your blessings.
I also began exercising again....in full force. I have teamed up with another Director at work and we meet at the YMCA at 5:30am. I have not quite made it five days a week but am well on my way. Wednesday, we hit up the elliptical for 55 minutes. Today it was 35 minutes of elliptical and 25 minutes of weights and stretching. My biggest adjustment has been getting comfortable with getting dressed for work at the gym. I am used to coming home and showering. I bought a really, really big beach towel. It pretty much covers me from neck to my ankles. There is much comfort in terry-cloth. I also am seeing that I will save money in makeup. I no longer need blush. I am bright red when I finish. My face looks like I went crazy with bronzer on my forehead, cheeks and neck. I had some concern about my carotid arteries a while ago....no worries now. They are working fine.
Now the big question...have I lost weight? Maybe about two pounds (depending on how I lean on the scale!). That's OK - its a slow process. I have stopped attacking my candy jar again. That in itself will make a huge difference. I can't stop buying the chocolate - I actually see it as a business expense. Conversations are much more pleasant when people are eating a Kit-Kat. Try it...you'll see.
My kick off training for the Breast Cancer walk is next week. Then I have to get really serious about that training as well. I usually walk on the weekends now. I walked four miles at Harbor Island last Sunday. Beautiful walk with a good friend and well worth the drive. This weekend will most likely be back at Lake Murray. Cheer me on, please. I think this walk will be much easier if I drop 50 pounds first. It will be like putting down a Costco sized bag of Sugar before I start....! So...words of encouragement are appreciated...I will write them on sticky notes and put them on my computer to remind me of those cheering me on! They will most likely get mixed up in the 50 other sticky notes on my desk but will be a welcome surprise when I'm looking for someones phone number.
Love to you all!!!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Legends of the Fall
Wow - i just looked at my last posting date. I am remiss...It has been over a week ago! I do have a wonderful excuse, however. I'm using it for everything. I had a medication change....which is not the actual excuse but the cause of the excuse. The medication change made me dislike coffee....weird, huh? I have not had any coffee since....oddly enough...the last time that I wrote. I have been asleep since then. I have also gained five pounds. I don't think this one is going to last for me. Any further weight gain, and I'm off it...I don't care what the doctor says. I'll try acupuncture instead.
The last two weeks have flown by. Work was busy with students starting school, meeting with community members and overall daily work. Oh...any my fall. Which was not that big of a deal until you consider that I'm an overweight 46 year old woman. I was walking in the hallway and somehow, my heel just slipped right out from under me. Whap! One the floor...on my butt! Six anxious looking students running over...most likely thinking...will we need a crane to get her up again? One brave soul reached out and said "let me help you up.." while she braced her back. I replied..."no thanks...I think I'll stay down for a little longer." She looked confused - how could I want to stay on the floor? Well, during a fall, everything gets a little out of place and it takes a few moments for them to find their way back again. I felt like my left hip was somehow sitting behind my right buttock. After a few minutes, I got back up....on my own. Always best...if you get up on your own, most likely your OK (Nursing 101). I was...until the next day.
My left leg was sore for about two days after that fall. No bruising....no abrasion....just old lady sore. Still four days later, I can still feel it. I see heels somehow exiting my future and instead wearing beige athletic shoes with Velcro. Shudder.
I also had an offer from my friend to be my personal trainer. I think I'll take her up on it. She's a tough woman. I may end up crying but at least I'll be thinner...and less prone to falls. Hopefully the exercise will keep me awake also. The staff are getting concerned at seeing my head on my desk at 2:30pm. I keep trying to tell them that's it a new yoga pose but they aren't buying it.
More to write later but it's time to get ready for the day. Hope you all enjoy yours!
My left leg was sore for about two days after that fall. No bruising....no abrasion....just old lady sore. Still four days later, I can still feel it. I see heels somehow exiting my future and instead wearing beige athletic shoes with Velcro. Shudder.
I also had an offer from my friend to be my personal trainer. I think I'll take her up on it. She's a tough woman. I may end up crying but at least I'll be thinner...and less prone to falls. Hopefully the exercise will keep me awake also. The staff are getting concerned at seeing my head on my desk at 2:30pm. I keep trying to tell them that's it a new yoga pose but they aren't buying it.
More to write later but it's time to get ready for the day. Hope you all enjoy yours!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Gunpowder and Lead
Hmmmm....My husband just took off with the dog. If you have read my earlier posts, you know one of my stress reducers is singing country songs at the top of my lungs...I'm not sure if it was the actual singing or the fact that I was singing "Gunpowder and Lead". Hopefully you are familiar with Miranda Lambert (she is absolutely adorable albeit a little hostile!) I'm also a fan of Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, Sarah Evans and believe it or not....Reba McEntire. All have songs in my very limited range which I can sing...very...very...loudly. Eric is probably having to walk very far and very long to get away from me. That's OK...he's stuck in the car with me tomorrow morning!
We just finished up some very juicy steaks and somewhat burnt and undercooked biscuits. Apparently, they don't turn out so well in the Toaster Oven. It's something like an Easy Bake from my childhood. I was reminded with Mothers Day coming, however, that my mother never burned biscuits...except when she asked me to keep an eye on them. She was a fabulous cook. Thinking of her is bringing back so many memories of my childhood. This is also where the singing comes from. My older sister, mother and I all spent time singing with church. My sister and I sang at her memorial service 12 years ago. It's been a long time since I've seen her...but memories of her live on when I look at my own children.
I've received calls from two of my sons today....both asking about my plans on Sunday. Both wanting to spend time with me. I'm reminded that I don't just love my boys; I truly like them as human beings. While they genetically were cursed with some of my quirks, they are pretty great to spend time with. My youngest will most likely make me breakfast on Sunday - his specialty is eggs. I will be well fed not only physically but emotionally Sunday. We will relive many memories of the past twenty one years - and i will cry a little bit that an era in my life is ending. And an era in theirs is just beginning.
I have been well cared for by the men in my life. I sing along with Miranda Lambert having never experienced a man hitting me in anger or the feeling that someone else is in control of my every move. I have been truly blessed with my husband and boys. I should be singing "Blessed" by Martina McBride....but her voice is a little higher and I think the angry songs have a better beat. I can hit every note of Sugarland's "Stay" but there's something about a woman waiting for her married lover that kind of turns my stomach. Bummer....its got a great melody. My favorite song right now is "The House that Built Me". My house that I grew up in is a mini-mall in Old Town now but the sentiment is pretty cool.
OK - I've been rambling for a while now. It could be the sentiment....it could be the fact that I don't want to do my homework...it could be the wine. You decide.
Love to you all!
We just finished up some very juicy steaks and somewhat burnt and undercooked biscuits. Apparently, they don't turn out so well in the Toaster Oven. It's something like an Easy Bake from my childhood. I was reminded with Mothers Day coming, however, that my mother never burned biscuits...except when she asked me to keep an eye on them. She was a fabulous cook. Thinking of her is bringing back so many memories of my childhood. This is also where the singing comes from. My older sister, mother and I all spent time singing with church. My sister and I sang at her memorial service 12 years ago. It's been a long time since I've seen her...but memories of her live on when I look at my own children.
I've received calls from two of my sons today....both asking about my plans on Sunday. Both wanting to spend time with me. I'm reminded that I don't just love my boys; I truly like them as human beings. While they genetically were cursed with some of my quirks, they are pretty great to spend time with. My youngest will most likely make me breakfast on Sunday - his specialty is eggs. I will be well fed not only physically but emotionally Sunday. We will relive many memories of the past twenty one years - and i will cry a little bit that an era in my life is ending. And an era in theirs is just beginning.
I have been well cared for by the men in my life. I sing along with Miranda Lambert having never experienced a man hitting me in anger or the feeling that someone else is in control of my every move. I have been truly blessed with my husband and boys. I should be singing "Blessed" by Martina McBride....but her voice is a little higher and I think the angry songs have a better beat. I can hit every note of Sugarland's "Stay" but there's something about a woman waiting for her married lover that kind of turns my stomach. Bummer....its got a great melody. My favorite song right now is "The House that Built Me". My house that I grew up in is a mini-mall in Old Town now but the sentiment is pretty cool.
OK - I've been rambling for a while now. It could be the sentiment....it could be the fact that I don't want to do my homework...it could be the wine. You decide.
Love to you all!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Pictures, Pedaling and My Phone
The Breast Cancer 3-day walk is in 28 weeks. If I walk 20 miles a week while training, that's the equivalent of 560 miles...or the distance from here to the Grand Canyon. I think it's actually closer as the crow flies but if you want to get there on a paved road, it's 557 miles from my house. In 28 weeks, I could also lose 42 pounds at a healthy rate. I think I'll set my sites at that goal....walking to the Grand Canyon in the summer does not sound the least amount appealing....except maybe to the buzzards that would be feasting on my carcass.
I have failed miserably in my training this week. Monday, I left for work early and came home late but did take time to jot a note on Facebook. I made a comment about getting an under-the-desk pedal exerciser. One of the nurses that I work with brought one in for me on Tuesday! I have a full fledged mini-bike under my desk....and I have used it! It's taken a little getting used to....I tried using it while I was typing but could only take the pounding on my thighs for so long. They slapped into the desk with ever upward motion. So I pulled it out a little further. Now, I can't reach my keyboard but can use it while I'm having meetings or on the phone. It's a little harder to carry on a conversation while out of breath and some callers have thought they mistakenly called the 1-800 sex line but overall it seems to be working. My staff has chalked it up to one more quirky thing that comes along with having me as a supervisor. They don't even blink anymore. Tomorrow, I do need to get back on my walking schedule, though.
We celebrated Instructor week yesterday at work. My boss was taking pictures. He took one of me eating a piece of cake. He doesn't know it but I'm confiscating his camera. It looks like I'm having a stroke while I'm eating. I'm not kidding. One eye is half closed and I think the left side of my face is sliding down. I am not a photogenic person...ever....I have one good picture of me. It was taken when i was two....fortunately, they got my good side. Now my only good side is the back of my head. This is not some self-bashing...trust me...those that have seen pictures of me will agree. My hope during the 3-Day is that I can avoid camera's...or be at least on the right side of one. I'd rather be the one taking the pictures. I truly have no talent as a photographer...but people are less likely to point a camera at you if you are pointing one back at them. It's a little like having a gun in your hands.
So...if I'm going to walk the distance of here to Arizona and loose over 40 pounds, time to get serious....again....really....this is the last time.....stop laughing. No more cake (especially when camera's are around!). Increase the walking. Peddle my heart out...(pick up fund raising from phone calls....?). I don't want to be walking 60 miles while hefting an extra 50 pounds along for the ride. It would seem that the walk would just be easier if I was....well...you know...smaller. Especially the up hill parts. Give me some encouragement....please...I can use some words of..."you can do it!" and "You're on your way"...or even..."Hey stupid...when are you going to get tired of this unhealthy cycle that you're in!". I'll take it all...and internalize it...so maybe the stupid comments may not be the best! Wish me luck!
Love to you all!
I have failed miserably in my training this week. Monday, I left for work early and came home late but did take time to jot a note on Facebook. I made a comment about getting an under-the-desk pedal exerciser. One of the nurses that I work with brought one in for me on Tuesday! I have a full fledged mini-bike under my desk....and I have used it! It's taken a little getting used to....I tried using it while I was typing but could only take the pounding on my thighs for so long. They slapped into the desk with ever upward motion. So I pulled it out a little further. Now, I can't reach my keyboard but can use it while I'm having meetings or on the phone. It's a little harder to carry on a conversation while out of breath and some callers have thought they mistakenly called the 1-800 sex line but overall it seems to be working. My staff has chalked it up to one more quirky thing that comes along with having me as a supervisor. They don't even blink anymore. Tomorrow, I do need to get back on my walking schedule, though.
We celebrated Instructor week yesterday at work. My boss was taking pictures. He took one of me eating a piece of cake. He doesn't know it but I'm confiscating his camera. It looks like I'm having a stroke while I'm eating. I'm not kidding. One eye is half closed and I think the left side of my face is sliding down. I am not a photogenic person...ever....I have one good picture of me. It was taken when i was two....fortunately, they got my good side. Now my only good side is the back of my head. This is not some self-bashing...trust me...those that have seen pictures of me will agree. My hope during the 3-Day is that I can avoid camera's...or be at least on the right side of one. I'd rather be the one taking the pictures. I truly have no talent as a photographer...but people are less likely to point a camera at you if you are pointing one back at them. It's a little like having a gun in your hands.
So...if I'm going to walk the distance of here to Arizona and loose over 40 pounds, time to get serious....again....really....this is the last time.....stop laughing. No more cake (especially when camera's are around!). Increase the walking. Peddle my heart out...(pick up fund raising from phone calls....?). I don't want to be walking 60 miles while hefting an extra 50 pounds along for the ride. It would seem that the walk would just be easier if I was....well...you know...smaller. Especially the up hill parts. Give me some encouragement....please...I can use some words of..."you can do it!" and "You're on your way"...or even..."Hey stupid...when are you going to get tired of this unhealthy cycle that you're in!". I'll take it all...and internalize it...so maybe the stupid comments may not be the best! Wish me luck!
Love to you all!
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